Grief and Cemeteries
No matter how or how long you grieve after a death and cemeteries in Huntersville, NC, it’s an important part of processing a loss. Everyone grieves and mourns in their own way and for their own length of time. But how will you handle a loss? How should you mourn? How do you cope with the grief?
To better understand what grief is and how to work through it, use this list of important information about grief. To begin, grief is a deep kind of sorrow associated with a loss, whether that loss is a death or another kind of loss, such as that of a relationship, job, or even hope for the future. But grief is not the same as mourning. Grief is the internal experience or emotional response after a loss, while mourning is the external way, we process our grief. In other words, grief is what you are holding onto on the inside and mourning is what you’re letting out. While everyone grieves and mourns differently, is important to be aware of and acknowledge where you are in your personal grief and mourning process.
Mourning is the outward expression of grief. As such, there is no set timeline for how long you should mourn after a loss. Mourning periods vary between people, cultures, religions, and more. For example, the Jewish, Eastern Orthodox, Hindu, and Muslim religious sects have set mourning periods, while many western cultures believe one year is an acceptable mourning period. Cultures and beliefs also dictate how to mourn, with traditions including wearing black, no dancing or celebrations, a black wreath on your door, and covering the doorbell.
What does grief look like? What symptoms does it have? Grief manifests in many different ways between different people or even at different times. How you grieve at one point in your life might be very different than how you grieve at another. Grief can also manifest in a variety of ways from physician and emotional to mental symptoms. Some of the most common include heart palpitations, headaches, GI issues, body pain, anger, bitterness, confusion, loss of joy, apathy, irritability, fear, shame, anxiety, or even betrayal. There is also no set timeline for grief. How long grief lasts varies from person to person and even from loss to loss. For example, you might grieve longer after the loss of a spouse versus the loss of a job. If you feel that your grief is lasting longer than it “should,” you might feel more comfortable speaking to a professional.
Grief is hard work, and it’s important to acknowledge it as such so you can face it and come out stronger on the other side. No matter how, why, or how long you grieve, it’s an important part of processing a loss. We are here to help if you want to learn more about grief or Huntersville, NC cemeteries. Stop by and visit us or give us a call today for more information on what we can do for you in your time of loss.
Your Cemetery Attire Guide
Funeral, memorial, and other cemetery service attire can be a minefield of differing traditions and opinions, often leaving guests completely unsure of what to wear. You’re not alone if you’re wondering what to wear to a funeral at a cemetery in Charlotte, NC. However, you don’t have to be unsure anymore.
Use this ultimate guide to funeral attire as inspiration for your funeral or memorial outfits. When dressing for a funeral or memorial, you should be aware of some common attire guidelines. For instance, avoid revealing pieces. Shirts and dresses should always cover up to the neck and pants and dresses should go down to the knees. Many traditions also require shoulders and knees covered as well as headwear such as hats for the men and headscarves for the women. As for footwear, avoid athletic shoes like sneakers as well as casual shoes like flip-flops. More causal services may allow t-shirts and other informal wear, but always avoid loud prints or big logos and keep a formal jacket on hand just in case.
A general rule of thumb is to dress as you would for a job interview or a church service: conservative, clean, and put-together. The traditional colors worn to funerals are an important aspect of funeral attire. Though not every service calls for dark hues, you will almost always blend in and be appropriately dressed if you stick to the tradition of wearing black, dark grey, or deep blue. Brown shades, lighter grays, and other earthy colors are acceptable for most funeral services. Be sure to avoid bright colors including yellow, red, pink, orange, and white. You can wear white if it’s part of an accessory or worn underneath dark colors, like a white shirt with a dark jacket.
Memorials are more informal events than funerals, but they still require somewhat subdued, formal clothing. When in doubt, err on the side of more formal and more traditional with dark colors and conservative cuts. Celebrations of life are unique services in that they are more casual and upbeat. As such, they have fewer expectations and requirements for dress. Celebrations of life can range from lighthearted memorials to parties with dancing, so be sure to check the invitation for guidance on attire. However, it’s safe to assume that a smart-but-casual outfit will be acceptable. Wakes, viewings, or visitations are muted, somber events and therefore require muted, somber clothing. Expectations for attire can range from highly formal to dressy-casual, so be sure to check the invitation or dress according to what you know about the family. Similarly, it’s important to dress respectfully and conservatively at a funeral to honor the deceased and the bereaved. Stick to tradition, avoid bright colors, and, when in doubt, dress like you would for a job interview.
Do you want more guidance on Charlotte, NC cemetery or what to wear to death-related events? We are honored to help! Please call or visit us today to learn more about what we can do to help.
Interesting Cemetery Traditions from Around the World
How are death and services done at cemeteries in Matthews, NC? What about in the rest of the world? While every culture from across the globe might seem very different at first, they each have three aspects in common when it comes to rituals around death: ceremonies, special places for burial or placement, and some sort of memorial or monument. However, some aspects of our culture might seem strange to others just as aspects of other cultures might seem strange to us.
In Mexico, The Day of the Dead, or el Día de los Muertos, is an annual festival in which people set up altars in their homes featuring photos of their deceased ancestors as well as offerings like food, candles, flowers, and drinks. The idea is that the ancestor photos will summon them from the land of the dead so they can enjoy the offerings and visit with their living family members. Sikhs believe in reincarnation. However, most choose to be cremated when they die. Before cremation, the body is washed and dressed in traditional Sikh attire then placed in a casket while those gathering recite prayers and read scripture from the Guru Granth Sahib. More prayers are recited during the cremation, and afterwards, the remains are either buried in scattered in water. The Malagasy tribe of Madagascar have a tradition called “Famadihana,” which means “the turning of the bones.” Every five or seven years, the people of the tribe will remove the bodies of their deceased loved ones from their graves, wrap them in fresh burial clothes, spritz them with fragrance, and even dance with them. This ritual is viewed as a way to reconnect with the dead and ask them for blessings.
The Nordic people in Northern Europe are very connected to the sea, even in death. They traditionally set bodies adrift on the sea in coffin boats or lay coffins on cliffs facing the water. In the Islamic religion, bodies remain in their caskets until Judgement Day when they will be physically resurrected. Because of this belief, bodies must be buried within twenty-four hours of death to ensure the body is in the best possible condition. In India, the bereaved traditionally dress the deceased in bright colors that represent their best virtues, such as yellow for knowledge and red for purity, and parade them through the streets. Afterward, they sprinkle the bodies with holy water and cremate them.
Whether you’re working on a research project, satisfying curiosity, or preparing for your eventual passing or the passing of a loved one, this information on interesting global funeral and cremation traditions is here to help. These are just a few traditions from around the world, but they offer inspiration for your own planning and inspire tolerance for those who are different from us.
We are also here to help if you want more information on global death rituals or Matthews, NC cemeteries. Call or visit us today to learn more about what we can do for you in your time of loss.
Common Cemetery Traditions
Historians believe cemetery, funeral, and cremation traditions date as far back as 60,000 BC, but our modern traditions are very different from the ones back then. How have our traditions changes, and what are the most common traditions around death and cemeteries in Huntersville, NC?
Here are the most common modern cemetery, funeral, and cremation traditions in America:
- Burial – A burial is a form of final disposition in which a body is buried in a hole in the ground. Also known as internment, burial is one of the longest-standing death traditions in the United States. Burial first became popular as a way to keep animals away from a body and to protect the living from the smell of the decaying body. However, it quickly transformed into a way to show respect for the dead and as a way for the bereaved to be able to visit the deceased to continue to pay their respects. Interestingly, the “six feet deep” rule is just a myth. There is no nationwide law regarding grave depth, as necessary depth depends on soil type, method of burial, and other factors. The most common depth requirement is 36 inches.
- Funerals – A traditional funeral usually consists of a viewing or visitation followed by a funeral service that includes readings, prayers, and eulogies and is concluded with the body being buried or entombed. What Americans think most of when they think of funerals is the general somber feeling combined with black attire, religious moments, and burial at a cemetery. However, these days, funerals and other services like memorials can be almost anything.
- Reception – Funeral services are traditionally followed by a reception or wake at which the bereaved can receive support and comfort from the funeral attendees. Receptions, help the bereaved’s community get together and honor the family. These gatherings can be held almost anywhere, from banquet halls and restaurants to churches, homes, or even parks. The bereaved generally invite all the funeral attendees, but some open it up to the general public or keep it more intimate with only close family and friends.
- Viewings and Visitations – A visitation is when the family of the bereaved make themselves available for other family, friends, coworkers, and anyone who’d like to come so these people can express their condolences of the passing. Similarly, a viewing is when the bereaved can gather to view the body and express condolences. Viewings are often held at the funeral home, but can also be held in other locations.
This is far from a comprehensive list of American funeral and cemetery traditions. Others include pallbearers, open caskets, embalming, sending flowers, funeral processions, wearing black, and more. You are allowed to choose all, some, or none of these traditions to celebrate the life of your lost loved one.
Do you want to learn more about traditions surrounding death or Huntersville, NC cemeteries? We are here to help, so please call or visit us today for more information on our services or how we can help in your time of loss or preplanning.
The Symbolism of Common Cemetery Flowers
Have you ever wondered about the significance of common flowers brought to cemeteries in Charlotte, NC? From weddings and births to deaths and funeral home services, flowers have a rich tradition of symbolism in many important life events. What do common flowers represent?
Like many flowers, carnations come in different colors. Each color has a different meaning. For example, red carnations depict admiration, white connotes innocence and pure love, and pink carnations convey remembrance. In the United States, chrysanthemums sometimes called mums, represent truth. But in parts of Asia and Europe, these flowers represent death, mourning, and grief and are therefore only used at funerals and memorials. Tulips are generally a spring flower, harkening thoughts of renewal and rebirth. However, these flowers can also be associated with forgiveness worthiness, and love, making them ideal for use at a funeral or memorial.
Lilacs, like lilies, often signify youth and innocence. This symbolism makes lilacs a common choice for the funeral or memorial tribute of a young person or someone who had a childlike nature or good heart. With its signature floral scent and youthful appearance, lilies signify purity and innocence. They are often brought to funerals and memorials to represent the idea that the deceased’s soul has become peaceful and innocent in death or that the deceased will be reborn in a new life.
There’s also the hibiscus. Often thought of as a feminine flower, the hibiscus symbolizes delicate beauty and fertility. Therefore, its often used at services for beloved wives or partners. Because of its prominence in several island cultures, the hibiscus can also signify an association with Hawaii or Haiti. You can’t forget about roses or forget-me-nots. Simply put, roses symbolize love. While different colors of roses have other meanings, the most common theme is one of love. White roses are very common at funerals because they represent rebirth and renewed love as well as pure love. Like their name suggests, these flowers are all about remembrance. Forget-me-nots signify lasting love for the deceased and the idea that the love will always live on in your memories, heart, and mind. This symbolism makes these flowers ideal for funerals and memorials.
The gladiolus flower is very common for funerals and memorials as it symbolized strength, moral integrity, and faithfulness. What about orchids? Orchids are recognized as symbols of everlasting love all over the world. Perhaps this idea comes from orchid’s rarity or maybe from their incredible beauty. But no matter the reason, orchids are always a great choice for a funeral or memorial service to represent your everlasting love for the deceased. What about camellia? With its delicate petals and soft scent, the camellia is a perfect representation of excellence, refinement, and perfection. These flowers are often brought to funerals and memorials of someone respected in their community.
We hope this information was helpful so you can choose the perfect bloom to bring to a funeral, memorial, or any other kind of service. Do you want to learn more about memorials, funerals, or Charlotte, NC cemeteries? Call or visit us today.
Special Tributes for Your Special Loved One
Your lost loved one was incredibly unique, so they deserve an incredibly unique tribute after their funeral or service at a cemetery in Matthews, NC.
Modern families often seek ways to make a service more personalized for the deceased, such as honoring what made the deceased special by celebrating their interests or hobbies. Take this list of niche tribute ideas as inspiration so you can plan a personalized service to honor and remember your lost loved one.
Did your lost loved one enjoy boating or being out on the water? Celebrate that interest with boat-themed touches at the service. For example, you can have the service at a beach or dock, or even on a boat. You could also play tracks of ocean waves, display boat models, or display a large piece of sail cloth for attendees to sign or notate memories of the deceased. If the deceased was a big fishing fan, celebrate that in the service by serving fish at the reception, donating fishing kits to local charities in honor of the deceased, or displaying photos of all their great catches.
Don’t forget about gardening. Flowers and other plants are always welcome at services, especially if the deceased loved to garden. Celebrate their love of gardening by filling the service with flowers, giving guests seed packets, displaying a casket or an urn with a flower motif, or using a memorial tree urn or casket to bury the remains. What about photography? From snaps on a smart phone to old-school photo shoots, there are many ways to be interested in photography. Similarly, there are many ways to celebrate the life of someone who loved photography, like displaying pictures the deceased took, playing a slideshow of their work, or encouraging attendees to snap photos and share them. Did your lost loved one like golf? You can easily celebrate golf!
If your loved one was a golfer, there are many ways you can include the golfing theme as part of the service, from having the service at the country club and setting out their golf bag as decor to setting up a golf memorabilia table with scorecards, collectibles, photos, and more. There’s also antiquing! Many people get into antiquing as an expression of their love of decorating, the enjoyment of the style of a particular era, or as a fun way to make a little side money as they discover, fix up, and resell antique furniture and collectibles. If your loved one was into antiques, showcase the hobby at the service by creating an antique scrapbook or decorating the space with some of their favorite pieces.
Are you feeling inspired? The service should be just as unique as the person its honoring, so we’re here to help if you want more information on planning unique services with niche tributes or Matthews, NC cemeteries. Call or visit us today to learn more about what we can do for you in your time of loss or preplanning.
Committals Services at Cemeteries
Committing your lost loved one to the earth or another burial location is a wonderful way to say goodbye at a cemetery in Huntersville, NC. A committal service is a graveside service in which you commit the body to the ground, or bury the body.
Committal services are generally the final goodbye for the family before the deceased is buried. The origin of the phrase “committal” in this context is thought to have been derived from a burial sermon in the Book of Common Prayer that states, “We therefore commit this body to the ground, earth to earth, ashes to ashes, dust to dust; in sure and certain hope of the Resurrection to eternal life.” As the ritual is usually brief, about 15 to 20 minutes, many families choose to have a committal right after the funeral service, but you can have a committal without a funeral or memorial.
Ready to plan a committal? Here are some tips. First, pick a burial site. Does your family have a plot with other family members? If so, call the office and reserve a plot for the deceased. If not, do some research and choose a cemetery in which you’d like your loved one to be buried. You can often buy a plot directly from the cemetery or from an individual.
You also need to connect with the cemetery sexton. The cemetery sexton is the person in charge of running the cemetery’s day to day operations. As such, he will take care of the details for the commitment ceremony like making sure the grave is dug and prepared, bringing the casket or urn to the grave and placed on a lowering device, and getting the surrounding area ready for the service with chairs and other decorations. Choose a flow for the service. You must find an officiant to run the committal, whether that means your pastor or priest or even a family member, friend, or other loved one. Once you gave an officiant, work with them to choose what you want to service to include, such as readings, prayers, eulogies, or a sermon. If you don’t want a formal service, that’s ok. You can just have attendees say a few short words about the deceased. Finally, keep an eye on the weather. As committals are usually outdoors, the weather plays a big role. Be sure to plan for heat, snow, rain, or wind.
It’s important to note that you can have a committal service for cremated remains. You can commit the cremated ashes to the ground in a burial urn, or have them inurned in a columbarium niche. In fact, cremation committals often look and feel almost exactly the same as a service for a full body. The urn is often set on a table before the commitment, and some families choose to decorate the table with flowers, photos, and memorabilia.
Do you want more tips on committals or information on Huntersville, NC cemeteries? We are here to help. Call or visit us today to learn more about our services.
2023 Trends in Funerals and Cemeteries
In 2023 more than ever, a new year will certainly bring new trends in Charlotte, NC cemeteries, cremation services, memorials, and more. Here is a list of funeral home trends for this year to inspire your planning and preplanning as well as provide interesting insights.
To begin, unique, creative personalization of the funeral service has become the new norm. This means you’re free to choose the services, products, and traditions you want for the deceased’s funeral or memorial, whether that means hosting a celebration of life or putting them to rest in a cremation urn that will turn into a tree.
There will also be a lot of virtual services and personalized services. Virtual funerals, wakes, and memorials became popular in 2020 because of the COVID-19 pandemic. However, we predict they will remain popular well into 2023 as virtual services offer many benefits from ease of scheduling to allowing out-of-town family members and loved ones to easily attend. Funerals have slowly been moving away from tradition and becoming more and more personalized to the deceased and their loved ones.
What about memorial gardens or preplanning? A memorial garden is a community garden dedicated to the deceased. Oftentimes the dedication is made official through donations and made known through a plaque or a memorial bench. These gardens are becoming more and more popular as ways to remember the deceased and honor them for generations to come. Preplanning or advance planning funeral arrangements is a great trend as preplanning offers many benefits including savings, reduced stress, more control over your own funeral, and the ability to plan a more personalized service.
Direct cremation and at-home funerals will be popular, too. Direct cremation is when the body is cremated directly after death without any embalming, wake, or other services. Direct cremation is the most affordable body disposition method, which is perhaps why its gaining popularity. Beyond savings, it also allows the family to hold a memorial, scattering, or any other kind of service whenever they want as opposed to right after the death. DIY is moving from home improvement to funerals and memorials. An at-home funeral is when the memorial or funeral service is held in the home rather than in an official facility. A home funeral cuts down many of the common funeral costs and can be much more eco-friendly, but there are still many benefits to hosting a funeral or memorial at a funeral home.
There will also be more natural burials. Unlike more traditional burials with embalming, heavily decorated caskets, and imported flowers, natural burials are all about keeping things simple. They use simple biodegradable urns, bamboo caskets, or cotton burial shrouds to minimize environmental impact and increase the speed of decomposition. As consumers, we’re becoming more aware of the affect we have on the environment. This has led to an uptick in sustainable or environmentally friendly funeral and cremation services like green burials, eco-friendly cremation caskets and runs, and a general increase in sensitivity surrounding sustainability and renewal after death.
Do you have more questions on industry trends or cemeteries in Charlotte, NC? We are here to help. Call or visit us today to learn more.
How to Support Someone After a Cemetery Service
Losing a loved one and going through their burial at a cemetery in Matthews, NC is never easy. If someone you know and love recently lost someone, you probably want to help them however you can. Use these simple ways to express sympathy to inspire your actions:
- Gift Flowers – While sending flowers after a funeral or memorial might feel stereotypical, its tradition for a reason. Flowers are a lovely, simple way to show the bereaved you care and are thinking of them in their time of loss.
- Cook a Meal – Simple, easy, and straightforward, bringing a meal helps meet the bereaved’s physical and emotional needs. Cook something comforting like soup, casserole, or pasta, or try something the deceased loved.
- Provide Condolences – Even saying something as simple as, “My condolences” or “I’m sorry for your loss” can go a long way towards helping someone feel supported and not as alone in their grief.
- Join the Service – Attending the funeral or memorial service will show the bereaved that you care enough to take time of out of your busy schedule to show up for them. If you can’t make it, be sure to send a card, note, or at least make a phone call to express your sadness at missing the event.
- Acknowledge the Loss – You might go back to life as usual after the funeral, but the bereaved won’t. Remember, your friend will still mourn long after the funeral is over. Don’t be afraid to acknowledge the loss and talk about the deceased. Ask how they’re doing, share a memory of their loved one with them, let them know you miss him or her, too. This will mean a lot.
- Just Be Present – Oftentimes, the best thing you can do for a grieving person is to just be with them. Sit with them at home, bring by coffee or baked goods, call, text, or simply listen to them talk. Don’t try to fix the grief or offer advice. Instead, listen, acknowledge, and be there for them however they need. Your presence alone can be a genuine comfort during this difficult time.
- Send a Sympathy Gift – If you can’t be there in person to support the bereaved, try sending gifts like practical items or memorial keepsakes.
- Pray – While not everyone believes in a higher power, knowing that someone cares enough to pray for you always feels good.
- Offer Understanding – Grief can feel impossible, leading some people to seek company, others to find alone time, and yet others to lash out. Be patient and understanding with the bereaved and don’t be offended.
- Offer Help – When helping, be specific. The bereaved won’t take you up on a general “let me know how I can help.” But they will most likely accept specific help. For example, offer to watch the kids, mow the lawn, or bring by groceries.
These are just a few of the many ways you can help someone going through a loss. Pay us a visit or give us a call today for more information on grieving or Matthews, NC cemeteries.
Burying Companion Urns in Cemeteries
Companion urns are large containers that hold the remains of two people in at cemetery in Huntersville, NC. Often intended for a husband and wife or other partners, these urns generally have two separate compartments or one open area large enough for both sets of cremated remains.
Companion urns also have double the capacity of standard adult urns. Standard adult urns usually have a capacity of 200 cubic inches, while companion urns have 350-400 cubic inch capacity to hold the cremated remains of two people. Wondering if your companion urn will be large enough? Assume that 1 pound of a person’s body weight will leave about 1 cubic inch of cremated remains. So, for example, if someone who weights 200 pounds wants to be buried with a 150-pound person, they need a 350 cubic inch companion urn.
Companion urns come in two standard shapes. There are two standard companion urn shapes: vase-style, rounded and box-shaped, rectangular. The vase-style, rounded urns are often ceramic as they are made on a potter’s wheel, while the rectangular urns are often made from metal, stone, or wood as square, cornered construction is easier with those materials. Are you into saving the environment? Biodegradable companion urns can be released into the ocean. Biodegradable companion urns are eco-friendly vessels that allow you to bury or scatter the remains out in nature. They are made from natural materials that will decompose over time, returning your loved ones’ remains to the earth.
Companion urns also come in many different materials. You can find companion urns in almost any material, from metal and granite to wood, glass, ceramic, marble, and more. In order to narrow down your options, consider how the urn will be used. For example, do you want it to be buried? Choose a durable material like stone, granite, or marble if you want it to last, or wood or another biodegradable material if you want it to decay naturally. You can personalize companion urns even if one or both of the people are still living. Pre-planning for your eventual passing can also include personalizing your future companion urn. Try inscriptions with a personal sentiment, important dates, or even a special message from you to your loved ones.
Want to be sure generations to come know who is in the urn? Add a photograph! You can personalize a companion urn with individual photos of who is inside or, even better, a photo of the two people together. Try a photo-etched stone or granite urn that has the picture carved directly into the urn’s surface. You can also look into photo frame urns that allow you to change out the picture as often as you’d like.
If you love someone so much that you don’t want to be apart from them, even after burial, a companion urn might be the answer. We are here to help if you’re interested in learning more about companion urns or Huntersville, NC cemeteries. Simply call or visit us today to learn more about what we can do for you.