Monthly Archives: September 2022
Do You Have Cumulative Grief?
Everyone will experience grief at one time or another, generally after the loss of a loved one and a service at a cemetery in Huntersville, NC. However, sometimes people experience losses one right after another can lead to what is called “cumulative grief.”
Cumulative grief can occur when someone experiences more than one loss in a short period of time, causing the pain of each loss to compound each other into oftentimes overwhelming grief. The symptoms of cumulative grief include numbness, high blood pressure, sleeplessness, feeling overwhelmed, avoiding processing the losses, and processing one loss but not being able to process any others.
Here are fast facts about cumulative grief to help you understand this phenomenon and how you can get through it. To begin, all grief, even cumulative grief, takes time to work through. Don’t try and rush through the feelings even if it hurts as this may just leave you feeling overwhelmed. Don’t try to avoid the feelings, either, as they will continue to build up and cause more pain in the long run.
Remember, it’s not shameful to seek help, especially since cumulative grief can affect your physical health. Finding professional help, like a therapist or counselor, can go a long way towards easing you through cumulative grief. Grief is also cyclical. Grief, especially cumulative grief, is cyclical, meaning that one day you might feel better, but then the next you start to feel terrible again. This doesn’t mean you’re regressing or not making progress, it’s just part of the grief experience. This cyclical nature also means that you can make room for joy and happiness within your grief journey. After all, being happy does not negate the love you had for your lost loved one. Finally, cumulative grief isn’t just about death. While death is the most common cause of cumulative grief, it can also be caused by other losses like a change in friends, loss of identity, job loss, or a loss in future dreams or goals.
Grief can devastate you emotionally, mentally, and physically. In fact, it can raise blood pressure, increase the risk of blood clots, and even alter the heart muscle to mimic the symptoms of a heart attack. Age increases the risk of cumulative grief. As people get into their 70s, 80s, and 90s, they oftentimes find themselves experiencing more frequent loss of friends, family members, and other loved ones. Substance abuse can also increase the risk for cumulative grief.
People that use drugs or alcohol to numb grief oftentimes don’t fully feel their losses, putting them at greater risk for cumulative grief when they stop using the drugs or alcohol. Multiple loses can also heighten feelings. The simple nature of cumulative grief is that it’s hard. How could feeling the pain of multiple losses not be? As tough as feeling the heightened emotions all at once, it’s better than ignoring the feelings until they become too much to bear.
We are here to help if you want to learn more about grief or Huntersville, NC cemeteries. Call or visit us today to learn more about what we can do for you in your time of loss.
How to Visit Someone Who Is Dying
Death is something we will all face eventually. But what should you do if you have a friend or close relative who’s dying? While it’s hard, it’s incredibly important to visit them so you can show your love and support before your friend’s passing and service at a cemetery in Charlotte, NC.
But what should you say? How can you get through the tangle of emotions that comes with such a visit? There is a lot of awkwardness that comes from talking about death, but it may be helpful to remember that your friend or loved one might feel just as awkward about the subject. Here are some tips for what to say. To begin, just listen. Sometimes it’s more about what you don’t say than what you do say. They might just need someone to listen to them, hold their hand, and be their shoulder to cry on. After all, what they are going through is scary and overwhelming. Just being there to sit with them and let them express how they are feeling can be more than enough comfort. Also, don’t be afraid to ask questions.
Face the elephant in the room head on and ask questions about how they’re doing. They may not want to answer them, and that OK, but just having you be there to ask the questions is often comfort enough. Always let them decide how much they feel like sharing. Finally, be honest. Always be honest about your own feelings and experience. Feeling nervous, sad, or scared? Say so. Human connection is so important, and the best way to connect is through honesty. Also, don’t wait. You never know which conversation or visit might be your last, so don’t wait too long to make your visit and be sure you remain as heartfelt and loving as you can.
Don’t you want your friends and loved ones by your side when your time comes? The answer is probably yes, so you need to extend that same grace to your friends and loved ones as they pass. Also, friendship and family means being there to support a person through the good times and the bad. Yes, you may feel uncomfortable, but image how scared or uncertain they are.
Remember, this is the moment they need you the most. It’s understandable and even normal to feel uneasy or anxious about visiting with someone who’s dying. Most people have never been in that kind of situation before and therefore lack the experience and knowledge to know what to say or do. People also don’t know what to say or do because death and terminal illnesses are somewhat taboo subjects in our society and are therefore often not really talked about or dealt with.
Do you want more information on death or Charlotte, NC cemeteries? We are here to help. Stop by and visit us or give us a call today to learn more about what we can do for you.
Use These Tips to Buy a Casket
Buying a casket can be and expensive since caskets are big-ticket items, come in many different sizes and materials, and have a wide range of features. Though it’s not common, many people do choose to buy a casket for their loved one for a service at a cemetery in Matthews, NC. Need some help shopping for a casket?
These tips are here to help! To begin, consider your lost loved one’s wishes. If your lost loved one left behind instructions or preferences as to the type of casket they want, follow those instructions. Not only will this help honor your lost loved one, but it will also make your job that much easier. If they didn’t leave any instructions, think about their tastes and personality to help narrow down your choices. You should also shop early and set a budget. Buying a casket is hard even without adding the additional stress of making the purchase when you have high emotions, are under a time constraint, and are feeling vulnerable after a loss. The best way to combat this issue is to shop as early as you can, whether that means picking a casket before you pass to make the choice easy for your family or moving the task of buying a casket to the top of your funeral to-do list. Caskets can vary widely in price, from a few hundred or thousand dollars to tens of thousands.
All these options can be very overwhelming, so it’s best to start shopping with a set budget in mind. What’s more, you don’t want to overspend and put extra stress on yourself during your time of loss. Another tip is to enlist help. You don’t have to shop for a casket alone. In fact, it’s often best to have a shopping companion along to help you make the decision and offer additional support. Also, having someone along to help might also make it easier for you to stick to your budget and request samples or information on lower-priced options. And finally, its’ almost always helpful to talk over the pros and cons of your various options with someone else. Beyond that, you need to know your rights.
Finally, take your time and know your rights. While you don’t have all the time in the world to choose a casket, you do have the time to take a step back, breathe, and center yourself if you begin to feel overwhelmed. Oftentimes just taking a quick break can make all the difference. Consumers of funeral home and cremation products have certain rights under federal law. These laws are intended to help protect you from being pressured into buying products you don’t want or need simply because you’re going through a loss. For example, the Funeral Rule requires funeral homes to provide you with transparent pricing. Also, don’t be afraid to ask questions. You need to have all the information before you can make a good decision.
We are here to help if you want more information on buying a casket or Matthews, NC cemeteries. We’re happy to do whatever we can to help you in your time of loss or of preplanning, so call or visit us today.
Caskets and Cemeteries
What do you know about caskets? If you’re planning a service at a cemetery in Huntersville, NC, you will most likely need to choose a casket for your lost loved one. But where do you start? The best place to begin is learning about the most common types of caskets, casket features, and casket materials.
To begin, there are wood caskets. Generally, wood caskets are made from solid hardwoods like mahogany, walnut, cherry, maple, oak, and pecan. Much like furniture made from harder woods is more expensive, the harder the casket wood the more expensive the casket will be. Other woods such as pine, poplar, and willow are generally the most affordable, and the least expensive wood casket option is wood veneer, pressed wood, and cloth-covered fiberboard.
There are also metal caskets. The most common metals used to make caskets are bronze, copper, stainless steel, and carbon steel. Bronze and copper are the most durable as they will not rust over time, but they do tend to cost. Stainless steel and carbon caskets come in different thicknesses, each with their own price point. Metal caskets are usually more durable than wood, which is why they’re often marketed as “protective.” Though they do come with a rubber gasket to seal the casket, they do not slow down the decomposition process.
You also need to consider the size of the casket before you commit to choosing one. A standard casket is generally 84 inches long, 28 inches wide, and 23 inches tall. While the length of a casket is rarely an issue – as most bodies comfortably fit within the standard size – you may need to look at an “oversized” casket that have an extra width of 31 inches. What about features? Caskets come with two basic types of lids: half couch and full couch. Half Couch refers to a two-piece lid that’s usually partially opened (from the deceased’s waist up) for a viewing. Full Couch refers to a one-piece lid extending the length of the casket.
Don’t forget to think about additional features like lining, memory drawers, and casket corners. Casket interiors, or linings, come in a variety of materials. The most common are crepe, velvet, satin, linen, and velour. Memory drawers are special compartments built into the casket that hold small personal items you wish to bury with the deceased. These are special attachments to the outside of the casket that help denote the deceased’s life in some way, like a golfing or fishing symbol.
Finally, cremation caskets are used to support the body while its being cremated and therefore need to be combustible and cannot have any metal parts. In fact, unless you would like a casket because you have a funeral before the cremation, you don’t have to have a true casket at all. You can choose a cremation container, or simple box, in which to cremate the body.
There are a lot of different caskets out there, all in different materials, shapes, sizes, and price points, so it can be hard to get started on choosing one for your lost loved one. We are here to help if you want to learn more about caskets or Huntersville, NC cemeteries.