When you get married, you’re signing on for a partner for life. But sadly, death often gets in the way of this plan making the death of a spouse traumatic and stressful. From dealing with the emotional fallout to planning a service at a funeral home in Charlotte, NC, the stress of losing your spouse can have a severe impact on your emotional and physical health.
That’s where these tips come in. They can help you deal with the loss of a spouse in a healthy and healing-driving manner:
- Memorialize – Remembering and memorializing a lost loved one, and especially a spouse, can go a long way towards healing as it allows you to reflect on the good memories, love and happiness in a healthy way. You can make a memorial with a cremation urn, photographs, or custom art.
- Avoid Major Decisions – Grief can cloud judgement or lead you to rash decisions. Try to avoid making major decisions after losing a spouse as you might not be thinking clearly after the loss. Put off decisions regarding moving or quitting a job till later, as any decision you make will be clouded by the loss of your spouse and might not be the best choice in the long run.
- Take Care of Yourself – Grief can have both physical and psychological symptoms. You may feel exhausted or in pain after losing a spouse or may find it difficult to think clearly or process your emotions. Many people try to numb themselves to deal with the pain of loss by turning to drugs or alcohol. This is unhealthy in the long run. Instead, take care of yourself by eating right, exercising, sleeping, and talking to a therapist if you so choose.
- Acknowledge the Loss – It’s easy to allow yourself to get lost in the planning and details of a death, like planning a cremation service, and not allow yourself to feel your emotions. However, it’s important to take time to acknowledge the loss and let yourself begin to process it. Letting yourself mourn and deal with the fact that your life has changed is the healthiest way to proceed.
- Make a Plan for Personal Belongings – Take as much time as you need before taking this step but do make a plan for your spouse’s personal belongings at some point in your grieving process. It’s important to move on in the way that’s right for you, so do whatever feels right to you, whether it’s putting the items into storage, donating them to a charity, selling them, or leaving them where they are.
Dealing with the death of a spouse will never be easy, but these tips may help ease your process in small ways. Gethsemane Cemetery and Memorial Garden is here to help with or range of services. We are here to help if you would like to learn more about dealing with a loss or your options for Charlotte, NC cemeteries. Stop by and visit us today or give us a call for more information.
Losing a loved one is never easy, and everyone handles these losses in different ways including children. Its particularly difficult to know how a child will handle a death and a visit to a cemetery in Matthews, NC.
Many parents and guardians struggle with what to say and how to speak to children about death. These tips are here to help. To begin, you have to keep in mind that every child is different and will deal with grief in a different way. Be prepared that just because one kid was more open to communicate another kid may not be the same, and keep these tips in mind:
- Talk About the Future – The child will most likely have questions about how this loss will affect the future. Be reassuring but honest about changes, like how holidays will be a bit different but still fun.
- Prepare for the Funeral or Service – Be sure to spend time discussing what the funeral service will be like. Your child might have questions about the burial or cremation, so be prepared to answer them. You should also discuss funeral etiquette and the exact plan for the day of the service.
- Be Honest – Kids are smarter than they seem, especially when it comes to emotions. Be honest with the child about how you’re feeling and let him know that he can express his feelings honesty, too.
- Be Prepared for a Variety of Reactions – Every kid reacts differently to loss and death, so be prepared for a variety of reactions. This is especially true if this is the first time the child will have lost someone close to him. Let the child deal with the loss in his own way and be prepared to support him however he needs.
- Focus on Understanding – Focus the conversation on what death and loss means to make sure the child understands what has happened. Let him know what death is so that he is not left confused or with questions.
- Grieve Together – Don’t be afraid to express your emotions in front of the child. Crying together is a good way to move forward and heal.
You can also help your child manage and understand his grief through various activities. There are lots of activities to try, from one to get him talking about his feelings or one to have him create something to keep memories of the deceased.
For example, you can try creating a memory box. Help the child make a special box in which he can keep keepsakes that remind him of the deceased. For younger children you can build the box and help them decorate it, while older children might be able to build the box themselves. You can also try a feeling matching game in which the child connects his feelings with positive actions in order to help him work through what he’s feeling.
Gethsemane Cemetery and Memorial Garden is here to help if you want to learn more about dealing with loss or Matthews, NC cemeteries. Stop by and visit us or give us a call today for more information on what we can do for you in your time of loss.
Many people researching cemeteries in Huntersville, NC want to know the differences, if any, between caskets and coffins. If you’ve watched a movie or a TV show, you’ve probably heard the term “coffin.” But what about “caskets”?
What is a coffin? What is a casket? Are there any differences between the two? If you’re asking these questions, you’re not alone. The main differences begin in the details. Both coffins and caskets are burial containers used to hold remains of a deceased person for a funeral, wake, visitation and final disposition.
In the United States most people use the more modern casket, but the choice between the two is ultimately the family’s or the deceased’s depending on final wishes and plans. Coffins also do not have hinged lids. Instead, they have removable lids that must be fully lifted. Unlike caskets, coffins have six sides and are wider on the top than on the bottom. This tapered design was chosen to match the shape of the body as shoulders are wider than feet.
The vast majority of coffins are made out of wood and are also finished with cloth interior linings, but they do not have exterior handles for carrying. In fact, any additional decoration or handles are not considered part of the coffin but are instead called “coffin furniture.” Traditionally coffin furniture is used to display the deceased’s wealth or status. The other big difference between caskets and coffins is price. Caskets are generally more expensive as they have more decoration and use more elaborate materials.
Coffins, on the other hand, require less material as the tapered shape uses less wood and thus lowers the overall price. A casket is a special box made to hold the remains of a deceased person. These boxes are made in rectangular shapes with four sides and hinged lids. Caskets also usually have handles that make them easier to life and move and can be used for both cremations and burials depending on the material. Caskets can be made from a variety of materials, but the two most common are wood and metal. The average metal casket is made from stainless steel and the average wood from mahogany or oak. Most caskets are finished with soft interior linings to give the deceased a comfortable place to rest. It is important to note that it may be hard to find a coffin manufacturer as they are not in style and not as popular.
At the end of the day, the differences between caskets and coffins don’t matter even though they are very similar.
Gethsemane Cemetery and Memorial Garden is a Huntersville, NC cemetery with the experience necessary to offer you additional information on caskets, coffins and other funeral services to help you plan a service that will honor and remember your lost loved one. Call today to learn more about what we can do for you in your time of loss. We are proud to be able to help you in any way we can.
Everyone has a right to choose their final wishes for once they’re gone, and these choices include who gets to plan and make important decisions. According to tradition, it is the next of kin that makes arrangements for services at cemeteries in Charlotte, NC. However, sometimes people wish to designate other people besides their next of kin to be in charge of their funeral planning after they’re gone, and that’s OK. Whether you want to designate a close friend, an estate executor, or even one of your children, it is possible to choose who arranges your funeral service.
But how do you designate other people besides the next of kin? According to state law, all instructions for last wishes must meet certain requirements in order for them to considered legal and binding. These requirements include:
- Signature of the decedent
- Acknowledgement of the decedent signature, meaning getting the document notarized
- Signature of the agent or successor agreeing to act as the decedent’s agent after death
Any modifications to a document must be in writing and also notarized in to make them valid. While these requirements seem like a lot, its actually easier than you think to meet them as many states have specific forms for people to leave final instructions and to designate someone other than their next of kind to make final arrangements. However, it’s important to remember that these forms do not trump or replace a Power of Attorney or a legal will, as they are only there to provide end of life instructions. Again, any and all written instructions, from a Power of Attorney to an end-of-life form, must be signed by both parties before the death.
There are a few other important next of kin topics. Start with these tips, and follow up with an attorney for more information and guidance:
- Make and Distribute Copies – Don’t just fill out the forms and forget about them. Make and give out copies to important people like those named in the document or caregivers.
- Be Specific – Be specific in your end-of-life instructions. Include information such as the type of disposition you want as clearly as possible.
- Do Your Own Research – Understanding how your state handles end of life arrangements and associated legal matters is very important. Do some research of your own to make sure you understand.
- Non-Traditional Relationships – Nontraditional relationships, like common law marriages, same sex relationships, or even families with lots of children often require additional steps and paperwork. Do research if you think this applies to your situation to make sure you’re covered.
Finally, it’s always a good idea to consult an attorney before making any official plans as they can best advise you on how to proceed.
You have every right to designate whomever you want to arrange your funeral service, but be sure to do it correctly to make sure your wishes are followed. Gethsemane Cemetery and Memorial Garden is here to help if you want more information on end-of-life arrangements or Charlotte, NC cemeteries. You can stop by and visit us or call us today to learn more about what we can do for you in your time of loss.
Whether they bury the remains at a cemetery in Matthews, NC or keep them in an urn, one of the main concerns the bereaved have with cremation is how their loved one’s remains will be identified throughout the cremation process. These concerns are understandable, as it is a very sensitive subject with a lot of tension.
Also, many people hear false horror stories of families being returned the wrong cremains, or just being given bags of wood ash or even of sand. These rumors lead to a lot of concern over the cremation identification process. However, there is no reason for these concerns as all licensed cremation providers have thorough and effective identification procedures in place to ensure accuracy and dignity.
Most licensed cremation providers are more than happy to walk clients through their individual identification process. Don’t be ashamed to ask for these details, as most cremation businesses understand these concerns and are happy to help alleviate them. It’s important for you to be 100% comfortable with your provider and their practices. It can be difficult to ask questions surrounding such delicate and potentially painful topics. If you’re unsure of what to ask surrounding identification during the cremation process, try these questions such as “How are the deceased identified?”, “How does this process change if I am not there when he or she passes?” or “How can I be sure my loved one is the one you are cremating?” You can also ask, “How can I be sure of this if I choose a cremation without a viewing?” or “In what ways do you certify that the ashes I am returned are those of my loved one?”
If the cremation provider is unable or unwilling to answer questions such as these, consider taking your business elsewhere. It’s vital that you feel comfortable with the cremation process. The majority of crematories are obligated by law to carry out two different identification processes to ensure the deceased are correctly identified based on the name provided by the authorized agent or the bereaved. First, the deceased’s name, as provided by the bereaved or authorized agent, will be clearly listed on the cremation container. Second, a metal bracelet, disk or other token will be placed in the container with the deceased. This metal tag will not be broken down during the cremation process and will remain with the cremated ashes to further ensure identification.
You can always ask for additional identification steps. For example, you can ask for a detailed explanation of the cremation process in writing, have the cremation provider do a comparison of the deceased to a current photo of your loved one before the cremation begins, ask the cremation provider to do a final identification check based on a listed unique detail like a tattoo or birth mark.
If you would like to learn more about the body identification process or Matthews, NC cemeteries, Gethsemane Cemetery and Memorial Garden is here to help. Stop by and visit us or give us a call today.
Though cremation services are becoming more and more popular all across the country, there are still many families that choose traditional burials at cemeteries in Huntersville, NC over cremation. Do you know which one you want?
As other’s experiences may help you choose what’s right for you and your lost loved one, there are some common reasons why people choose traditional burial services. First, many families have been burying lost family members in the same cemetery for generations, so it’s important for them to continue this long-standing family tradition. For many people, holding onto this burial tradition is comforting in a time of loss and is an important part of their family history.
There are also many religions that dictate burial over cremation even though other religions have come around to the idea of cremation over burial. Many branches of Christianity and Catholicism allow for cremation, but there are still many religions that hold firm in their beliefs that burial is the only way to go. For example, the Jewish faith does not condone cremation. If it’s important for you and your family to maintain religious traditions, then you should absolutely choose burial. There are also a lot of myths surrounding cremation, from having ashes given to the wrong person to a lack of dignity. These myths might deter people from choosing cremation and have them choose burial instead.
Even though these myths are mostly not based in fact, it’s perfectly OK for people to choose burial if they prefer or if it makes them more comfortable. If it’s your personal preference to choose burial, then that’s what you should do. Sometimes the deceased leaves clear instructions for his or her final disposition. If the deceased wanted to be buried, then you should follow his or her wishes. However, at the end of the day, choosing a burial or a cremation all depends on what’s important to you and your family. There is nothing wrong with choosing a burial just as there is nothing wrong with choosing a cremation.
On average, cremations cost less than burials. This lowered cost is one of the main reasons why people are choosing cremation over burial. However, there are those that don’t mind the extra cost because burial is important to them and their family. Not everyone is concerned about cost when it comes to putting a loved one to rest. If you are ready to spend more money on a burial to honor your lost loved one or a family tradition than you should do so without any guilt.
Gethsemane Cemetery and Memorial Garden is here to help if you want to learn more about burial or Huntersville, NC cemeteries. We have the industry experience necessary to help you make a plan that works for you and your loved ones. You can stop by and visit us or give us a call for more information on what we can do for you in your time of loss or of preplanning.
Almost every service at a cemetery in Charlotte, NC has music. After all, music is a powerful tool that can evoke emotion and mood. There are many different kinds of funeral home and cemetery songs out there, from traditional to modern and everything in between. There are an amazing number of options when it comes to songs for these services.
So how do you choose the songs for your loved one’s service?
You need to choose songs that go along with your plan for the service. Think about if you want songs that speak about death and spending eternity in heaven, or songs that remind you of certain qualities and characteristics of the deceased. You can also look for songs that allow for reflection over fond memories or ones that your lost loved one enjoyed. You should also take some time to think about what kind of music the deceased would have enjoyed, as the point of the funeral is to celebrate his or her life. However, you can also get inspired by music that the funeral guests will enjoy, too. You can even try playing a few different kinds of music to try and meet everyone’s tastes and preferences, though you shouldn’t stress about meeting everyone’s tastes as that’s almost impossible to accomplish.
You can choose the music by getting inspired with common and popular funeral song choices. There are tons of options out there, from common to more unique. Here are some that might inspire you. This list includes country, modern, classic and traditional options.
- In the Arms of an Angel by Sarah McLachlan
- When I Get Where I’m Going by Brad Paisley
- If You’re Reading This by Tim McGraw
- One More Day by Diamond Rio
- Broken Halos by Chris Stapleton
- What A Wonderful World by Louis Armstrong
- Hero by Mariah Carey
- You Should Be Here by Cole Swindell
- Drink a Beer by Luke Bryan
- Hallelujah by Jeff Buckley (there are many other iterations by other artists)
- Let It Be by The Beatles
- Who You’d Be Today by Kenny Chesney
- Lay Me Down by Sam Smith
- Hear You Me by Jimmy Eat World
- How Long Will I Love You by Ellie Goulding
- Last Kiss by Pearl Jam
- Over You by Miranda Lambert
- Fix You by Coldplay
- See You Again by Wiz Khalifa & Charlie Puth
- Only One by Kanye West and performed by Kanye West and Paul McCartney
- Supermarket Flowers by Ed Sheeran
All music can evoke powerful emotions and memories, so go with your heart when making the decision. Choosing the kind of music, you want to play at your lost loved one’s cemetery service is a very personal experience, so there is no right or wrong answer.
Gethsemane Cemetery and Memorial Garden is here to help if you would like to learn more about your options for Charlotte, NC cemeteries or funeral music. Stop by and visit us or give us a call today for more information on what we can do for you in your time of loss or of preplanning.
From a burial or funeral service at a cemetery in Matthews, NC to non-traditional services in more unique locations, everyone that faces a loss will also deal with a long and difficult journey to healing. Many bereaved ask themselves questions about the loss.
These questions usually fall into two categories: Why and How. “Why did this happen to us?” “Why did God let something like this happen?” “How will I start to feel better?” “How do I find the positive in this loss?” Everyone can find themselves asking different questions, as everyone responds to grief differently. Have compassion and understanding with yourself as you grieve, and don’t try to overthink what you’re going through.
Most importantly, talk about your feelings and experiences either with a loved one or a professional. After all, if you’re asking yourself these or similar questions, you are definitely not alone.
- Why Don’t I Feel Better Yet? Losing someone you love isn’t like breaking a leg or spraining your wrist. There is no set amount of time that it will take your loss to heal. Let yourself grieve as long as you need to. You will start to feel better over time as you slowly reach healing milestones. Celebrate your small victories as you heal.
- What Should I Do if I Feel Like I’ll Never Get Over the Loss? Death and loss aren’t something one should try to overcome, especially since death and loss aren’t things that anyone can fix. Instead of trying to fix the grief, learn to live with it. It will adapt as you grow, and you will slowly begin to move forward.
- How Can I Tell My Doctor That I Don’t Want Medication? Communication is key with your health professional, especially when it comes to mental health. It’s vital that you communicate with your doctor if you don’t want to take medication, as then he or she can come up with a different plan to help you.
- Why Aren’t My Friends Supporting Me? Many people don’t know how to help someone that is grieving, as it’s such a personal thing to deal with. Your friends, coworkers, or even family simply might not know how to relate to what you’re going through, or they might be afraid of offending you. Tell them how you feel, and what they can do to better support you.
- What’s Wrong with Me? If you feel like your grief is different or weird, don’t worry. Nothing is wrong with you. We all grieve in different ways. You might be grieving differently that someone that is facing the exact same loss as you, and that’s OK. Even if it feels like no one can understand you, try talking about your feelings.
Gethsemane Cemetery and Memorial Garden is here to help if you want to learn more about dealing with grief or Matthews, NC cemeteries. Stop by and visit us or give us a call today for more information on what we can do for you in your time of loss.
Flowers have always been a part of the funeral and cemetery tradition in Huntersville, NC and beyond. Bringing flowers as a gift for the bereaved is very common, especially when it comes to decorating a gravesite at a cemetery. But what kind of flowers are you supposed to bring to a funeral?
To begin, it’s a good idea to learn more about the different kinds of traditional funeral flowers so you can put a bit of thought into your purchase, as each one represents or means something different. Roses, for example, have a lot of different meanings depending on their color. Pink roses are all about grace, friendly love and appreciation while red roses are for romantic love, courage and respect. Yellow roses, on the other hand, are for friendship. There are tons more to choose from! Chrysanthemums, or mums, are the exclusive funeral flower in Europe and many parts of Asia as they are believed to represent grief and truth while also the uplifting celebration of the deceased’s life.
Carnations are a common funeral flower because, like roses, they mean different things based on color. Red carnations mean affection, pink remembrance and white innocence. Orchids signify lasting, eternal love as they live for much longer than the average potted flower. Lilies, on the other hand, are the most traditional funeral flower as the signify innocence and peace. Many people believe that lilies help give peace to the soul of the deceased. Looking for something more light and cheerful? Choose tulips or daffodils as both of these sunny spring flowers represent fresh starts and renewals. They are usually sent to bring cheer to someone in grief.
Yellow tulips signify cheerfulness while white tulips signify forgiveness. While hydrangeas don’t have a known meaning or representation, they are an incredibly beautiful and popular funeral flower. Some people like to think of them as a flower of thanks or understanding as they are easy to maintain and bloom for many years when cared for well. These are just a few of the many different kinds of funeral flowers you can bring to a funeral home.
Use your heart when choosing which kind you want to bring, as its really the thought that counts. No matter which you choose, the bereaved will greatly appreciate the sentiment. After all, they’re going through a loss and will be busy dealing with the ins and outs of the funeral. However, that doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t put thought or effort into the flowers, especially since it’s the thought that really counts in these kinds of situations. Bringing flowers shows that you care, and that you are thinking about the bereaved in their difficult time.
If you need more guidance on which flowers you should bring to a funeral or a Huntersville, NC cemetery, just reach out to Gethsemane Cemetery and Memorial Garden. You can stop by and visit us or give us a call to learn more about what we can do for you in your time of loss.
Many funeral directors are choosing to implement pet therapy programs in funeral homes and cemeteries in Charlotte, NC. In some cases, grief-therapy dogs even attend funerals at cemeteries. But what is pet therapy? And how do these animals, like dogs and cats, help people cope with loss and grief? Keep reading to learn more about this new funeral trend.
Pet therapy has been used in schools, hospitals, care homes and universities all around the world. Pet therapy, often referred to as animal assisted therapy or AAT, is when a trained animal interacts with a human with a specific mood or cognitive goal in mind. The animals, most often dogs, cats, lambs, and Shetland ponies, are thoroughly trained and are usually accompanied by a handler.
These therapy animals are chosen for their positions based on friendly and calm personalities as well as comfort interacting with strangers. There are even famous therapy pets, such as Norbert, an American therapy dog. Pet therapy programs were first initiated in the 1980s and involved volunteers bringing their pets to schools, hospitals and care homes for interaction with children and patients. There are pet therapy programs all around the world now, but it’s been only recent that funeral directors have begun using pet therapy in their funeral homes to help patrons deal with grief and loss.
Grief therapy dogs first started popping up in the United States in the last few years. These dogs are usually owned by the funeral director and are brought to funerals and memorial services when requested by the bereaved. There are also new businesses and volunteer programs in which services will bring dogs to funerals when requested. A grief therapy dog’s main job is to be a calming presence at the funeral. They are especially helpful in calming and distracting children that may not have ever been to a funeral before or may be afraid of the proceedings.
Grief therapy dogs can also support the bereaved through hugs, snuggles and even calming walks. Grief therapy pets, like dogs, are only allowed to attend funerals when specifically requested. There are always signs posted when a dog is in attendance at a service to warn guests that might have allergies or might be afraid of dogs. If you are considering having a grief pet at a funeral, think about the guests. If there are many attendees that would be distressed by a dog, it’s not an appropriate choice. However, if many guests would be helped by the dog, it is a worthwhile investment.
Gethsemane Cemetery and Memorial Garden is here to help if you are interested in learning more about pet therapy or about your options for Charlotte, NC cemeteries. Though we may not offer pet therapy services, we do offer a range of cemetery services and have the years of industry experience necessary to help you learn all you need to know about planning a service. Please stop by and visit us or give us a call to learn more about what we can do for you in your time of loss.