About Us | Gethsemane Cemetery and Memorial Gardens

Blog

Category Archives: cemetery

cemetery in Huntersville, NC

Mausoleums and Their Benefits

According to the National Funeral Directors Association, a mausoleum is “a building designed for above-ground placement of a casket. The casket is placed into a crypt that may be designed for one or two persons.” While a traditional ground burial in a cemetery in Huntersville, NC is always a valid choice, there are many other options for a deceased’s final resting place, like mausoleums. But why should you choose a mausoleum?

Mausoleums are free-standing structures that provide a secure, dry and clean place for bodies to be interred. There are many different kinds and styles of mausoleums. Some mausoleums have one crypt, or a chamber designed to hold one body, while others have a larger space made to hold a few people like a family or a couple. Some mausoleums even have more than one room for different parts of a family. Mausoleums are commonly decorated with exterior markers to denote who is resting inside, and yet others have windows and glass to allow in natural light and air.

The term mausoleum came from one of the first one’s ever built. Built in 353 BC near what is now known as Turkey, The Mausoleum of Halicarnassus was the final resting place of a famous Persian king named Mausolus. However, just because these structures have a long history doesn’t mean they aren’t still popular. In fact, mausoleums offer tons of great benefits, making them a common choice for internment. Some of the benefits of mausoleums include protection and privacy.

Though everyone will experience grief, most people prefer to show their mourning in private. Because mausoleums are enclosed buildings, they offer the bereaved much-desired privacy in their time of loss. Similarly, because they are enclosed buildings, mausoleums also offer protection for the body. Many of them are also climate-controlled, which gives the bereaved even more peace of mind for the body and comfort when they are paying their respects.

cemetery in Huntersville, NCMausoleums have been proven to have comparable costs to those of a more traditional ground burial, especially if the structure will be used to house more than one body. Families can lower the costs of burial by purchasing a shared mausoleum. Both traditional ground burial and cremation have negative impacts on the environment, such as ground disruption or release of gasses into the atmosphere. Since mausoleums can hold more bodies per square foot of ground that a traditional burial, they are better for the planet and are a great option for those that want to leave a small footprint behind when they’re gone. Mausoleums are also convenient. Mausoleums are convenient for the bereaved as they offer easy access to the lost loved one for year-round visitation. Hot summers, cold winters, rain, and other elements aren’t an issue.

Gethsemane Cemetery and Memorial Garden can help you decide if a mausoleum is the right choice for you or your family. We have vast experience as a Huntersville, NC cemetery and can offer you more information on your different internment choices. Call or visit us today.

cemetery in Charlotte, NC

Common Questions on Death, Loss, and Cemeteries

Perhaps you’ve looked at your wardrobe before going to a memorial and wondered what in the heck you’re supposed to wear. Or maybe you’ve been to a service at a cemetery in Charlotte, NC and wondered who that person in the dark suit was.

You’re not alone. Many people have lots of questions about cremations, funerals and other related topics! Luckily, this list of common cremation service-related questions and their answers can hopefully help shed some light on your queries:

  • What’s the Difference Between a Memorial and a Funeral? – The main difference is the presence of the body. A memorial is when the body is not present at the gathering to celebrate the life of the deceased, and a funeral is when the body is present at the service. Generally, memorials happen after cremation service or other instances that would prevent the body from being present, like when the body is donated to science.
  • Should I Send a Sympathy Card? – Sending a card is just one of the many ways you can show support for the bereaved. If you do send a card, send it within two weeks of the death. If you don’t want to send a card, you can reach out in another way like a phone call, email or visit.
  • What do Funeral Directors Do?Funeral directors are, first and foremost, in charge of preparing a body for burial or cremation, but they also help with a ton of other things from arranging memorials and funerals to providing transportation to and from the place of disposition.
  • Should Kids Come to the Service? – The memorialization process is very important for mourning and dealing with grief in a healthy and constructive way. This is true for kids just as it is true for adults. Childcare experts say that children should have a say in the matter of whether or not they should attend a funeral. Ask your child if he wants to go to the memorial service and make every effort to respect his choice.
  • What Does “In Lieu of Flowers” Mean? – “In lieu of flowers” is often the phrase used in a service program, death announcement or obituary when the bereaved request that mourners memorialize the deceased in other ways besides sending flowers. This could mean a donation to a charity or even a gift of food for after the event.cemetery in Charlotte, NC
  • What Do You Wear to a Funeral or Memorial? – This question has a tricky answer, as it really depends on the service. Some funerals and memorials are more traditional with guests wearing black clothing to honor the somber feel of the event. But other services are more modern and celebratory, making it OK for guests to wear color or more casual clothing. Use the location of the service as a clue to the type of clothing you should wear. A funeral at a church? Black, more formal attire is best. A memorial at a beach? Casual is most likely just fine.

Gethsemane Cemetery and Memorial Garden is here to help if you want to learn more about these topics or Charlotte, NC cemeteries.

cemetery in Huntersville, NC

Funeral Agents and Cremation Services

Someone will have to make decisions about planning your funeral at a cemetery in Huntersville, NC, from where you will be buried or cremated, how your will estate be carried out, and many other important jobs at the time of your death.

This person is usually one of your next of kin. Your next-of-kin is an immediate family member, like a husband, wife, or common-law spouse, a child, your parents, a domestic partner, or your siblings. But what happens if you don’t have any next of kin? Or if you don’t want your next of kin to be in charge of your will and cremation service arrangements?

There are plenty of situations in which this happens. For example, people often get divorced and therefore are estranged from their ex-spouse and children. People outlive their family members. Or, in other instances, someone may not want their children to be in charge as they might argue about how to execute the cremation and estate funeral after the death of their parents.

If these or similar situations apply to you, you can always designate a funeral agent. But what is a funeral agent? A funeral agent is a person designated to have legal responsibility over all the matters concerning someone else’s disposition. In the funeral world, this is called the “right to control.” You can hire a funeral agent and give them the right to control your cremation service planning and the legal power to override the decisions of anyone else, including your children, siblings, spouse, domestic and civil partner, and parents.

Funeral agents can be anyone you choose, from a friend or clergy member to a neighbor, coworkers, social worker, or extended family member. However, its best to choose someone that will outlive you and will understand and be able to handle the ins and outs of planning a cremation. Choose and appoint your funeral agent carefully. While the laws vary from state to state, the most common process is by either adding a codicil to your will or by filling out a form.cemetery in Huntersville, NC

If you want to designate a funeral agent in your will or in a codicil to your will, you need to talk to a lawyer and explain your wishes. Since the executor of a will is not necessarily the funeral agent, it is important to make the wording clear and specific in your will. Have your lawyer draw up a will or amendment that makes it clear who your funeral agent will be. If you want to fill out the form, you should get the form from your local government and make sure its notarized and signed by the intended funeral recipient and two witnesses.

Gethsemane Cemetery and Memorial Garden is here to help if you want to learn more about funeral agents and other aspects of preplanning for a Huntersville, NC cemetery. Whether or not you appoint a funeral agent is completely up to you, as it is a very personal choice. Call or visit us today.

cemetery in Charlotte, NC

Be Prepared

As scary as it is to plan for your death, you need to do whatever you can to make it easier for your loved ones after you’re gone. Even though no one will ever be fully prepared a loved one’s death and service at a cemetery in Charlotte, NC, it’s still important to take steps now to make your passing smoother for your family.

What can you do to prepare for your death right now?

To begin, you need to leave your last wishes. Make it known how you want your funeral or memorial to be done. Do you want a cremation services? A memorial? Traditional burial? There are a lot of questions that need to be answered when it comes to planning a service, so don’t leave your loved ones to answer all of them when their grieving your loss. You also need to make a will. Everyone should have a will, as wills make it easy for the bereaved to know exactly what the deceased wanted.

Plus, if you don’t leave a will, the state might end up choosing who gets your asses and who will care for your dependents. Double check that your 401k, life insurance, and IRAs have the correct beneficiaries listed. In other words, make sure that the people or person you want to get the money after your gone are listed on the documents. This is especially important as someone’s beneficiary documents can supersede wills and even divorces. Your family might rely on you for financial support, meaning that when you die, they will not only lose you but will also love the income you provided.

Take care of your loved ones by purchasing life insurance. Life insurance can help offset the costs of funeral and cremation services and can also provide additional income for living expenses, remaining debts, and other costs. What about all your documents? You might know where your important documents are, but will your family be able to find them? They might not know to check the top dresser drawer for your will, the bottom drawer for your life insurance policy, and your desk for the bank account information.

cemetery in Charlotte, NCMake it easier on your loved ones and keep all your important documents in one safe place that is easily found and accessed by a surviving family member. Include your social security card; legal forms for retirement accounts, deeds, and rental agreements; tax returns; and lists of all online and computer passwords. Don’t forget to sort your possessions. Catalog important items of monetary or sentimental value to ensure they are kept and passed to the proper person after you’re gone. Don’t forget to notate why each item is important so no information gets lost.

Gethsemane Cemetery and Memorial Garden is here to help if you want to learn more about what you can do for your eventual passing. We can assist with any preplanning or Charlotte, NC cemetery questions you may have. Call or visit us today for more information on what we can do for you.

cemetery in Huntersville, NC

Social Media Accounts After a Death

You can’t just leave a deceased’s social media or otherwise online life behind. There are a lot of financial and legal steps you need to take when someone you love passes away and has a services at a cemetery in Huntersville, NC, but you can’t forget about their social media and other online accounts.

Use these tips to take care of common online accounts after a death.

  1. Twitter – Twitter will work with a verified immediate family member or an executor of an estate to deactivate a deceased’s account. You must submit a request for a deactivation and removal online, upon which you will be sent an email with instructions for providing proper documentation of your relationship to the deceased and the death.
  2. Google – Thankfully, Google accounts are fairly easy to deal with. If the deceased had any kind or any number of Google accounts, from Google Docs, Google Drive, Google Calendar to Google Photos, Gmail or even YouTube, they had a Google ID. Google has a program called Inactive Account Manager in which someone can preset all data and accounts linked to their Google ID to be wiped after a certain period of inactivity. If the deceased used that program, your work is done. If they didn’t, simply file a request to Google, submit documents proving your relationship to the deceased, and the company will close down the Google ID.
  3. Facebook – Facebook has set up two different methods to handle a deceased’s account: Deletion and Memorialization. If you wish to delete their Facebook page, you have to submit a request to Facebook, provide documentation proving they are deceased and your relationship to them, and wait the 90-day period. Facebook also offers a Memorialization option, which turns the deceased’s page into an online memorial that keeps the original content and allows others to post memories, comments and photos.cemetery in Huntersville, NC
  4. Instagram – Instagram is similar to Facebook in that it allows the bereaved to delete or memorialize an account. Only immediate family members can file a request to delete an Instagram account, and they are required to submit proof of relationship and proof of death, such as a death certificate. Instagram accounts can be memorialized once the company gets a valid request backed up by death documentation and proof of relationship. A memorialized Instagram account can’t be changed at all, and the posts will only be visible to the audience with which they were first shared. In other words, you can’t make a memorialized account public if it was originally private.

Our digital footprints will only get bigger the longer our society spends online. You can also make it easier for your family after you’re gone by taking steps now to organize your accounts. If you want to make things easier on your family and loved ones after your death, start making a list of all your accounts, usernames, and passwords now so they have easy access to your information.

Gethsemane Cemetery and Memorial Garden is here to help if you want to learn more about dealing with death or Huntersville, NC cemeteries.

cemetery in Charlotte, NC

Cemeteries and Millennials

If you’re a millennial or in a similar young age group, you probably haven’t and don’t want to think about funeral or cemetery planning. We don’t blame you – even people that aren’t as young as you don’t want to think about their passing. But you need to spend time thinking about what you want for a service at a cemetery in Charlotte, NC as preplanning is very important. So, what do you do? How do you get started?

These tips can help:

  1. Save Some Money – Millennials are also looking to save money on funeral expenses, like caskets. Yes, some caskets are expensive. But there are tons of other options that are much more budget friendly. Your funeral director can advise you on the best one to choose for your needs and budget.
  2. Choose a Funeral Home– The very first step is to choose a funeral home, as someone will need to prepare your remains for disposition, handle your service, and even be a place to hold your service. Do some research on local funeral homes to learn about their prices, services, beliefs, and offerings. This way you can find one that has what you need and want.
  3. Doesn’t Have to be Religious – Younger generations are also moving away from funeral and memorial services, as many people think that funerals and memorials are strictly religious events. While funerals can certainly be religious, they don’t have to be. You can choose to have a non-traditional memorial service that isn’t religious or hire a funeral celebrant to lead a non-religious funeral. Your funeral service can be anything you want it to. Do you love golf? You can have a celebrant focus on your golf game. Are you a huge flower lover? Cover your funeral in flowers.
  4. Check Prices – In addition to using Google, Yelp and other websites to help you find a good funeral home you can also check the funeral home’s actual website to get a good idea of pricing. Funeral homes are required by law to provide clear and accurate prices for all of their services so you can get a good idea of what’s available and how much it will cost before you event step foot into a funeral home.cemetery in Charlotte, NC
  5. What About Disposition? – More and more people, especially younger generations, are choosing cremation over burial as, to them, burial is a waste of space, money and time. In fact, the National Funeral Directors Association reports that more than half of the dispositions in the USA these days are cremations. But what do you want? Do you want to be buried? Cremated? You can still have a traditional funeral service if you want to be cremated, or you can have a non-traditional memorial service even if you want to be buried. It’s totally up to you! Your funeral director can help you determine what you want done with your remains before, at, and after the service.

If you want more help just in get in touch with Gethsemane Cemetery and Memorial Garden, a Charlotte, NC cemetery, to learn more about preplanning and our services. After all, planning your funeral doesn’t have to be stressful or painful with these tips.

cemetery in Matthews, NC

Grief Podcasts for After Cremation Services

Losing a loved one isn’t and will never be easy. While we all deal with grief in different ways, sometimes it can get away from you and become too much to handle all on your own after a loved one’s service at a cemetery in Matthews, NC. How do you know if your grief is too much? And what can you do about it?

While everyone’s grief can look a bit different, there are a few warning signs that ring true for everyone if grief is becoming too much. For example, an inability to move on, or the loss of enjoyment is a bad sign. You shouldn’t stop living your life completely during grief. You’re still allowed to pursue your interests and goals. If your grief is preventing you from pursuing activities that you enjoy, or enjoying things you normally would, you may just need help finding your way forward.

Avoiding time with loved ones isn’t always good, either. Sometimes it’s easier to process grief on our own, but it’s also important to be with loved ones. If you find yourself consistently avoiding other people, you should consider getting some help with your grief. Another example is apprehension of new relationships due to the fear of loss. However, in order to move forward and continue to grow, we must forge new relationships. You might also need a bit of extra help if you find yourself getting lost in escapism in having an inability to continue normal activities. Staying busy or trying to escape to avoid feeling sad is not a long-term solution. Eventually, you will need to face your feelings.

But what can you do about this grief? Many people that are grieving find it very helpful to listen to grief podcasts as they are easily accessible and provide bereaved support and community in a very convenient way.

Whether you’re looking for more causal listening or are hoping for expert advice, there are tons of helpful grief podcasts available on Spotify, such as The Mindfulness & Grief Podcast by Heather Stang. Heather Stang has a Master’s in death, dying and bereavement, called thanatology. This degree gives her a unique perspective to grief and can help listeners deal with hard emotions, encourage self-care and compassion, and honor what is left of the deceased. There’s also Good Grief by Blake Kasemeier. Blake lost her mother to lung cancer and then started Good Grief to help other people through their own losses and mourning journeys.

cemetery in Matthews, NCWhat’s Your Grief is by Eleanor Haley and Litsa Williams. Hosted by two mental health professionals, this podcast discusses the gamut of grief-related topics. Grief Out Loud is by The Dougy Center. Hosted by a clinical social worker, Grief Out Loud talks about the most commonly avoided topics regarding grief. And finally, Grief/Relief by Moe Provencher isn’t hosted by a professional and is geared more towards real people sharing real parts of their lives and grief to help normalize the topic.

Gethsemane Cemetery and Memorial Garden is here to help if you have more questions on grief or would like to learn more about Matthews, NC cemeteries. Call or visit us today.

cemetery in Matthews, NC

The Importance of Obituaries

Whether you’re having a funeral or a memorial service at a cemetery in Matthews, NC, there are many reasons why you should publish an obituary for your lost loved one, including:

  • Sharing the Loss – Sharing in your grief and loss with the general community can be a big help after the death of a loved one. You’d be surprised how many people will reach out with helpful offers like condolences, prayers and general help. As a bonus, obituaries that are posted online almost always have comment sections in which people can post and share their own experiences with the deceased and words of comfort.
  • Paying Tribute – Each person on this planet has a unique life story as special as they are. While we can easily assume that the deceased lived and died, an obituary gives a window into how they lived and why they were important and special. Beyond the basic facts of life like date of birth, age date of death, survivors, and predecessors, an obituary can include other fun and unique information about a person including their hobbies, favorite foods, work history and amazing accomplishments.
  • Part of the Grieving Process – Remembrance is a big part of grieving. In other words, when you spend time thinking about a lost loved one by narrating that person’s history and remembering why that the deceased was important to you, you are showing and experiencing your grief in a healthy way and will ultimately help you move forward in your particular grief journey.
  • Notating History – An obituary is also a good way to make sure the deceased’s story is written down for future generations. Children, grandchildren, cousins, aunts, and uncles will all be able to access a part of their personal history.

These reasons, and many more, are why obituaries are not just a random tradition with no reasoning or meaning.

cemetery in Matthews, NCUp until about twenty years ago, most local newspapers published obituaries for free as they were considered to be news stories. These older obituaries mostly listed facts and kept the emotional editorializing to a minimum. Many newspapers also printed death notices which, unlike obituaries, were paid advertisements that gave the name of the deceased, the date, and the time and location of funeral services. These days, the majority of newspapers charge fees for printing obituaries. While these fees can be expensive, they do mean that the purchaser has the power to write whatever he wished about his deceased loved one, be it emotional or fact-based.

There is also some funeral home that post obituaries on their websites for free or for a small fee. Ask your funeral home or funeral director about their policy regarding this new tradition. You can also post an obituary on a memorial website like Legacy.com or post an obituary on Facebook or another social media site for free.

The above reasons are why it’s worth it to pay the fee or take the trouble to post an obituary on a free website. Gethsemane Cemetery and Memorial Garden is here to help if you want to learn more about obituaries or Matthews, NC cemeteries.

cemetery in Charlotte, NC

Tips for Dividing Possessions

Beyond planning services at a cemetery in Charlotte, NC the bereaved are also responsible for coming up with a plan for the deceased’s possessions. Despite what many people may think, it isn’t the most valuable items that cause the most problems. It’s usually the smaller, more sentimental items that can lead to arguments and pain.

Organizing, going through, and dividing possessions is very difficult. It can be made easier when there is a clear will or an executor, but a lot of times there isn’t, and the family is left to do it all on their own. This can lead to a lot of tension. These tips can help you divide your loved one’s possessions with as little pain and tension as possible.

  1. Compromise – Remember, this is your family, and everyone is hurting after the loss. Try to act with empathy and come to compromises whenever possible.
  2. Get Appraisals – Some items might have significant monetary value, such as coins, jewelry, antiques, and other valuable things. Take the guesswork out and get a professional appraiser to determine the exact value of every item. Once the values are established, divide everything as evenly as possible making sure each person ends up with about the same monetary value amount. If there are items that no one wants, sell them, and divide the proceeds.
  3. Use Stickers – Give each family member stickers of a certain color and have them place stickers on items they want. Items with only one sticker can go to that person, but items with more than one sticker will have to be divided another way, like taking turns.
  4. Think Before You Donate – While donating unwanted items is generous and helpful, be careful not to donate too quickly. Really take your time and think about each item. While it might not be wanted now, it might end up being very important down the line.
  5. Take Turns – Take turns picking items and draw straws or use another method to determine the order. Think of it like a sports draft. It’s a fair way to make sure everyone gets a chance to choose something meaningful to them. It’s also an interesting and sort of special way to see which items mean the most to which people. You might have never known how much your sister valued Grandma’s cookie jar otherwise.cemetery in Charlotte, NC
  6. Make Copies – There are some items that can be shared thanks to modern technology. Make digital copies of old family photos, movies, and tapes and then distribute the files so everyone has their own copy. Digitizing these old memories is a good idea beyond dividing them evenly as it protects them for future generations to enjoy.
  7. Don’t Leave Anyone Out – Try to think of anyone that would appreciate a piece of the deceased’s life and memory. From aunts and uncles to long lost cousins, caregivers, friends, and neighbors, you’d be surprised at who would greatly appreciate a token to remember the deceased by.

Gethsemane Cemetery and Memorial Garden is here to help if you want more help or information about Charlotte, NC cemeteries or other death related tips.

cemetery in Matthews, NC

Sending Your Condolences After Cemetery Services

 

As many people want to reach out with condolences for friends, coworkers, or family members after hearing the news about them losing someone they love or after attending a service at a cemetery in Matthews, NC, condolence calls and sympathy cards are very important.

But it can be hard to know what to say to someone that is going through the loss of a loved one, especially when trying to craft a sentiment that both acknowledges the loss and provides comfort to the bereaved. These tips are here to help.

You can try sending a sympathy card in the mail. Sympathy cards are the most traditional method of communicating these sentiments to the bereaved in their time of grief, but it can be tricky to accurately convey feelings and ideas. You can try to offer help. Offering help to the bereaved is always well intentioned, especially since it can be hard for people to ask for help when they need it.

To make it easier for the bereaved to get the help that is specific for their needs, try not to write statements like, “Call me if you need anything.” Instead, trying to say “I’m going to go grocery shopping on ____, send me your list and I will be happy to get it for you” or “Here is a gift certificate. Please use this to____.”

You can also express empathy. You might have lost someone, too. And while comparing your loss to the bereaved’s might seem like a good idea, it may come across as you trying to make it about you. Instead of writing, “I know how you feel” or “I’ve lost a ___ too”, try writing, “I’m grieving with you” or “I miss ___ too”. Sometimes you can’t make the service and want to apologize. Listing the various reasons why you couldn’t make a funeral or service may just look like you’re making excuses. Rather than writing, “I didn’t make the funeral because ___” try focusing on how you will support them in the future by saying something like, “I’m so sorry I couldn’t make it. I’m bringing lunch for you on ___ if that works for you.”cemetery in Matthews, NC

You can try to give the bereaved a call to express your emotions and support for them in their time of loss. Expressing condolences can be a tricky thing, as it can be hard to know what to say. If you’re at a loss for words, you can try saying things like, “My thoughts are with you during this difficult time.”, “I’ll always remember how [name] would [insert story or characteristic here].”, “There are no words. Just know that I love you and will also miss [name].”, “[Name] was a great person. My sympathies to you and your family.”, “We are so sorry for your loss.”, or “No one can ever replace the remarkable person that your ____ was.”

Call or visit Gethsemane Cemetery and Memorial Garden today for more information on sympathy cards or if you would like to learn more about our Matthews, NC cemeteries.